do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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