So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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