I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
