she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm gonna fight the coyote
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
