hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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