He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
