okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
