Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
