Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
