I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
