I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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