Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
