This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
