Sponge bath it is.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
