Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
