Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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