Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
