i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
