wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
