come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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