bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
