She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
