how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
