maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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