I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
