you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
