Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
