don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
