Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize