Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
