If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
