And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
