you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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