i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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