My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
