Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
