You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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