Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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