If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
