from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
