There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
