Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
