Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
