Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
