I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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