Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
