By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize