that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
