There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
