This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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