But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
