Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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