It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
