that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize