I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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