One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
