I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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