and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
