that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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