coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize