ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
