That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
