Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
